We tackled the hard heart check of the frustrating “mom- yelling” in Part 1. Now that that is behind us, let’s talk about a few more things that will be a help to you, Mom! You have a big job/role. So is being a mom a job or a role? It can be tricky to define between the two. There are lots of “jobs” within the mom role I would say. Chef, Nurse, Chauffeur, Teacher, (especially if you are a home school Mom), maid, etc. You get the idea. You moms know just what I am talking about. For the sake of this post, let’s call your mom title- your job. It’s a very important job, right? Can you agree it is ranked up pretty high? Even if you have a job outside the home, or you work from home, the mom job takes a lot of time, attention and money! So lets look at some “job” principles and see how they apply.
1. Get Ready-
My first job was at a grocery store. I got ready in my uniform and when I walked into the store I was ready to clock in. I didn’t go straight from bed to my job and get upset at the customers who came through my grocery check out line if they interrupted me as I did my hair and got my make up on. Yet, I hear this from moms- “I don’t have enough time to get ready in the day”, “my kids are constantly interrupting me”, and my favorite, “I have not showered in days”. Really? I want to ask? Or are you exaggerating a bit? I get it might feel like days though!
So my challenge- get ready daily for this important job. Find some super cute practical clothes that will fit your mom job uniform. Cute jeans, t-shirts, leggings and maxi skirts, (Lularoe have some GREAT options) some alternatives to daily yoga pants and a free tshirts. Find some quick tips of doing a Quick Makeup, (this Maskcara is one of our favorites) and find some cute hair styles that you can do! Get that long overdue haircut if you need to.
Don’t buy into the lie that you don’t have time. You will just plain feel better if you are up and ready for your day for your job. (If your kids get up at a ridiculously early time- email/msg us and we can help you walk through some ideas for that- because that is a WHOLE post in itself).
2. Schedule Your Day-
You get to be the boss. You really are, even if you think your kids feel they are the boss. Schedule your day. Write it out on a calendar if you LIKE to do that. Write a daily list. Set some “office hours”. Schedule in the things you don’t love doing- every job has an aspect of those areas. Schedule work days and some days off. I had to schedule in days I needed off at the grocery store I worked at. I understood the day off policy. I didn’t fight it. I didn’t work more days than the other grocery checkers to prove to them I was better. I didn’t wait until someone noticed I needed or deserved a day off. I asked for the time I needed because I regularly reviewed my schedule and calendar.
Don’t confuse the regular day in and day out schedule of a mom that can feel mundane at times to the need to schedule your days, weeks, months and year. Also what works at one stage of life might need to be adjusted to the next stage. Or things you thought you would do before you had children MAY need to be realistically adjusted once you start having children with personalities. Prayerfully and specifically ask God to help you schedule your days. Pray for a time to review this with your husband. Schedule times to sit down regularly with both of your calendars to review together. And adapt an attitude of flexibility. If ever you have had a job where you scheduled multiple pieces you know how important it is to be flexible.
4. Train/ Problem Solve-
When I started my job as grocery store checker I went to a week training. Plus had further on the job training. Because you are the boss, you are in charge of your training. You can’t be too hard on yourself if you are facing a new challenge in your mom job that you didn’t expect. You do some training or you problem solve with other employees in similar jobs. Don’t just google. That can come up with some scary results!
I used Focus on the Family for training. There podcast offers valuable information and it is easier than ever before to use as they have an app for your phone. Apart of their ministry is a movie review called Plugged In. SOOO helpful for the whole family.
I also read lots of books. I know you might feel like you don’t have a lot of time to read books. There are lots on audio these days. And remember you are the boss. If your job requires training you can schedule that in. I have never heard a mom tell me she doesn’t have time to watch this weeks episode of the Bachelor. Tell your time where you need it to go. Laura and I have mentioned several good books in our previous posts. Again, email us if you need a suggestion on a certain area and we will help you find some training in the form of a book.
Find an older mom friend who is in a stage ahead of you with kids that you like or a mom that has kids your kids age that obeyed her happily when asked. Ask that mom questions. See if you can meet up for coffee, a nice break for both of you, and interview her. Don’t compare yourself. Don’t aim to be her. Take some things she has used and tweak them into your home and family.
5. Set Some Realistic Review Dates-
Companies regularly review new things they try. They incorporate strategies and then review those strategies. How are your reviews? Do you try something new and if it doesn’t work in a day you come to conclusions that it won’t work? Or do you do the same things over and over without making necessary tweaks? Times to regularly review things in your mom job will keep you growing, evaluating and knowing what to specifically work on. Remember to keep in mind that what works at one stage might not work in the next. You mom job is more like a marathon then a sprint.
What are some things to review? Obedience, sleeping patterns, flow of day, balance of responsibilities, sibling strife.
You can’t clock out of your mom job. Your “job” comes home with you. And follows you around some days. An analogy isn’t a perfect comparison. But I hope a few of the principles shared can offer some fresh perspective. I can’t help but think about the promise of Lamentations 3:22-23, “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end, they are NEW EVERY MORNING (emphasis mine); great is His faithfulness.” His mercies are new every morning for you! We are proud of you and with you, mom. We have gone before you and in the trenches with you. Can you hear us cheering you on?
We love you,
Angela and Laura